thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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