I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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