Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
