i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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