I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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