The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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