I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
