In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
