when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
