he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
