umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
