it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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