so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
