my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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