I have demons in me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
