D3 body, D1 cock
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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