What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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