just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just found puke in my bra..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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