I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize