what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
