glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
