if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
