she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
