Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
