Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You smell like stripper and shame
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
