his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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