These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
