we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
