The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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