I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
