12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
