Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
