No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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