i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
