All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can text with my tongue
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
