were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
