butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize