I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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