Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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