I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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