OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
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Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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