Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
