last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
