What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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