No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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