i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
