At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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