i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
