my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
