your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
