I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
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I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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