Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
