She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
