the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
