I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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