Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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