I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
