you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
