I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize