im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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