Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
