phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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