Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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