garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
