I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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