I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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